Friday, February 20, 2015
Lenten Discipline Continued: Immigration
Monday, August 2, 2010
This explains a lot of me...
Calvin: From now on, I’m not doing anything I don’t want to do! The world owes me happiness, fulfillment and success…. I’m just here to cash in.
Calvin: I go to school, but I never learn what I want to know.
Calvin: I think life should be more like TV. I think all of life’s problems ought to be solved in 30 minutes with simple homilies, don’t you? I think weight and oral hygiene ought to be our biggest concerns. I think we should all have powerful, high-paying jobs, and everyone should drive fancy sports cars. All our desires should be instantly gratified. Women should always wear tight clothing, and men should carry powerful handguns. Life overall should be more glamorous, thrill-packed, and filled with applause, don’t you think?… Then again, if real life was like that, what would we watch on television?
Calvin: I used to hate writing assignments, but now I enjoy them. I realized that the purpose of writing is to inflate weak ideas, obscure poor reasoning, and inhibit clarity. With a little practice, writing can be an intimidating and impenetrable fog! Want to see my book report?
Calvin: I wonder if you can refuse to inherit the world.
Calvin: If you do the job badly enough, sometimes you don’t get asked to do it again.
Calvin: It’s hard to be religious when certain people are never incinerated by bolts of lightning.
Calvin: They say winning isn’t everything, and I’ve decided to take their word for it.
Calvin: It seems like once people grow up, they have no idea what’s cool.
Calvin: My brain always rejects attitude transplants.
Calvin: Nothing spoils fun like finding out it builds character.
Calvin: Reality continues to ruin my life.
Calvin: Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us.
Calvin: The only skills I have the patience to learn are those that have no real application in life.
Calvin: There’s never enough time to do all the nothing you want.
Calvin: There’s no problem so awful that you can’t add some guilt to it and make it even worse!
Calvin: To make a bad day worse, spend it wishing for the impossible.
Calvin: What assurance do I have that your parenting isn’t screwing me up?
Calvin: You know how Einstein got bad grades as a kid? Well, mine are even worse!
Calvin: You know how people are. They only recognize greatness when some authority confirms it.
Calvin: That’s one of the remarkable things about life. It’s never so bad that it can’t get worse.
Calvin: Everybody seeks happiness! Not me, though! That’s the difference between me and the rest of the world. Happiness isn’t good enough for me! I demand euphoria!
Calvin: Mom and Dad say I should make my life an example of the principles I believe in…But everytime I do, they tell me to stop it.
Hobbes: I don’t know which is worse…that everyone has his price, or that the price is always so low.
Hobbes: I had resolved to be less offended by human nature, but I think I blew it already.
Hobbes: So basically, this maverick is urging everyone to express his individuality through conformity in brand-name selection?
Hobbes: So the secret to good self-esteem is to lower your expectations to the point where they’re already met?
Calvin’s Mom: How can kids know so much and still be so dumb?
Calvin’s Dad: Why is it that I can recall a cigarette ad jingle from 25 years ago, but I can’t remember what I just got up to do?
Calvin’s Dad: By the finite patience vested in me, I hereby dub thee “mud.” You may rise.
Susie: Talking with you is the conversational-equivalent of an out of body experience.
Susie: I was going to ask you to play House, but I think you’d be a weird example for our children.
Susie: Uh oh… here comes Calvin – the Incurable Weirdness poster child.
Calvin: This piece of pie is awfully darn small!
Calvin’s Mom: Life could be a lot worse, Calvin.
Calvin: Life could be a lot better too! … But worse is more likely.
Calvin: Dad, where do babies come from?
Calvin’s Dad: Most people just go to Sears, buy the assembly kit, and read the instructiions.
Calvin: I CAME FROM SEARS?!?!
Dad: No, you were a Blue Light Special at Kmart. Almost as good, and a lot cheaper.
Calvin: AAUUGHHH!
Calvin’s Mom: Dear, what are you telling him now?!
Calvin’s Dad: The world isn’t fair, Calvin.
Calvin: I know, but why isn’t it ever unfair in my favor?
Hobbes: How come we play war and not peace?
Calvin: Too few role models.
Calvin: People think it must be fun to be a super genius, but they don’t realize how hard it is to put up with all the idiots in the world.
Hobbes: Isn’t your pants zipper supposed to be in the front?
Susie: Do you have your line memorized for the nutrition play, Calvin?
Calvin: I’m still learning it. Being an onion is a difficult role, you know. What are you?
Susie: I’m “fat.”
Calvin: No, I mean in the play.
Susie: Anyone ELSE want to say it?!?
Calvin: Aackk! Understudy! Understudy!
Calvin: Ms. Wormwood, I’m a fierce advocate of the separation of church and state. Nevertheless, I feel the need for spiritual guidance as I face the day’s trials. Therefore, I was wondering if I could strip down, smear myself with paste, and set fire to this little effigy of you in a non-denominational sort of way.
Calvin: If ignorance is bliss, this lesson would appear to be a deliberate attempt to deprive me of happiness, the pursuit of which is my unalienable right according to the Declaration of Independence. I therefore assert my patriotic prerogative to not know this material. I’ll be out in the playground.
Calvin: Some people complain all the time! They complain about the least little thing! If something bugs them, they never let go of it! They just go on and on long after anyone else is interested! It’s just complain, complain, complain! People who gripe all the time really drive me nuts! You’d think they’d change the subject after a while, but they never do! They just keep griping until you start to wonder, ‘What’s wrong with this idiot?’ But they go on complaining and repeating what they’ve already said!
Hobbes: Maybe they’re not very self aware.
Calvin: Boy, that’s another thing that gets on my nerves!
Calvin: I sure am great! I’m one of the greatest people who ever lived! How lucky people are to know someone as great as me! I’m great in so many great ways! In fact, I’m so great that my greatness is…
Susie: You’re not great! You’re the most conceited blowhard I’ve ever met!
Calvin: When you’re great, people often mistake candor for bragging.
Hobbes: Shouldn’t you be doing your homework?
Calvin: I’m pretty sure the assignment was optional.
Hobbes: Denial springs eternal.
Calvin: It’s not denial. I’m just very selective about the reality I accept.
Ms. Wormwood: Calvin! Pay attention! We’re studying GEOGRAPHY! Now what state do you live in?
Calvin: Denial.
Ms. Wormwood: [sighs] Well, I don’t suppose I can’t argue with that..
Calvin: Sometimes when I’m talking, my words can’t keep up with my thoughts. I wonder why we think faster than we can speak.
Hobbes: Probably so we can think twice.
Food for thought.
JMRB.
Sunday, August 1, 2010
Oh, Happy Day..
Friday, July 30, 2010
The Proof Is in the...
Tuesday, April 6, 2010
Love Song
In short, God made one of you, and he made you on purpose. The success of our life is not in achieving more than a little, or just short of a lot, but rather proving to be an enduring message and embodiment of love, hope, and grace. I thank God every day that besides being all of those things incarnate, he is also the creator of second chances. So even if I miss that first opportunity to do the creative best I can with my life, I exist in another one at that same moment. I guess you could say we're infinite in that respect, that we're perpetually in an opportunity. I think that through Grace, God allows that to be our reality, to exist every moment in an open window to try our best to be his likeness.
Super bad ass, if you ask me.
Sunday, March 14, 2010
Just Dance...It's Gonna Be OK.
I've never been in a group and not been the leader. Never been on a team and not been the captain. But now, I'm in the passenger seat of this Millennium Falcon called JMRB's life, and it's right. I have no idea what's going to become of my "career," my love life, or who I'll come home to in a year. But that's just the way it's supposed to be. The music's been cued up, and all I can do is dance to it.
I truly believe that God is Good. All the time. Not because He makes things easy, or because He gives James what he wants, but simply because He is who He says He is ($1 to Dr. Teddy Trost for teaching me the significance of "Ego Eimi"). I'm going to be just fine; the only thing I can do is to be an original, to make the creative best I can of my own life, and to let God shape that. Galatians 5 and 6 in The Message make me better; I thank Chrysalis for that tiny denim New Testament every time I think of it.
For the record, the blog title is simply a metaphor and an ode to Lady GaGa for making one of the catchiest records of all time. I do not dance literally; my soul is not expressed through rhythmic gyration. It's through bringing joy; joy that I know only because of the infinite Grace of Jesus Christ. So I'm gonna turn up this jam of existence and break it down. It's gonna be OK. And much more.
Love,
JMRB
Friday, September 4, 2009
Just biding my time 'til New Texas...
I do not understand the political ideology of our welfare state. On moral grounds, it seems to be a given that the "haves" are not good enough people to be charitable on their own accord and thus must be stolen from in order to provide for the "have nots." But on the other hand, the "have-nots" are deserving of things they have not themselves earned. It almost seems to align a moral compass on individuals based on nothing more than their financial state.
I understand, my liberal friends, that since I'm a libertarian I could not possibly be Christian. I don't care about the poor or less fortunate, and I am a dirty and awful person for not supporting presently-proposed policy. That's why Jesus picked the Pharisees' pockets in order to pay the widow's Ambien bills, right?
I believe that when you earn something, it's yours. That's why the check has your name on it. It just seems so incredibly backwards and counter-productive to effectually steal from John to give to Jim. Of course Jim always supports that ideology; but, if John doesn't want Jim to get his money, how is that wrong? It's a personal choice. It's no more morally sound to steal one man's money than to let another starve. Sin's sin, right? There is no place for morality in government. Placing an evil man under a "good" regime does not make him "good." People skip out on taxes because they think the taxes are not fair. People ache about welfare, social security, mandated insurance, etc. because they think these institutions are wrong.
If a person wants to spend 100% of their gross pay, neglecting their future and the people who might benefit from their being taxed, so what? It's their choice. That's all I'm saying. If that same person chooses instead to save 25% of their gross in a 401k and donate 10% to a church, Salvation Army, Red Cross, etc., what's so wrong with that? It's not allowed either way. It just seems to me to be such an arrogant and ludicrous means of reasoning to say that you know how to better serve a person than they can serve themselves. Now, I'm sure that all rich people are greedy, hard-hearted, and self-seeking, and all poor people are good, loving, victims of bad situations. Of course.
Some people are victims in need of aid. Some people are wealthy pricks who couldn't care less about anyone else. But I've got to believe that some other folks are in bad scenarios because they screwed up, and others are in good spots because they worked hard. I'm not going to assign a morality or a level of goodness to any of them. All I'm saying is that I believe there are people out there who if they had more disposable income (because of a drastic cut-back in their wages' garnishings. Really, a "Department of Education"? ) that would be more than willing to donate their time, resources, and money to those who are truly in need.
Two generations ago, my family was composed entirely of farmers and sharecroppers. Eighty years later, we're reasonably well-educated, responsible citizens. And I'm going to make an offensive amount of money doing something. Without a cent of state money. And I'm going to give a lot of what I earn away. The sad part is, I'll do it whether I want to or not.
Reign in the Empire. Quit your thievery. Pass the fair tax. Experience economic, and dare I say, social, growth. Don't say I'm intolerant just because you won't tolerate me.
Peace.
